It's a wonderfully grey and coasty day... they kind of day where i am constantly reminded that i am in an ocean-bounded city, constantly nostalgia-pulted into memories of Maine and my time on the Right Coast; the mono-tonal moistness that Portland so often wears. There's something dramatically satisfying about clomping around a rainy coast-town in a long coat and boots; something cozy and comforting that all the beauty of sunny days just can't touch. I'm suddenly in fall and holidays and making soup and bread with friends, missing my seasons but happy in my fog. Sometimes i forget to remember to be happy, what with all the stress of money and career and "the big questions" of one's 20's. My own artistic and personal demons; the pressure and demands i put on myself, the criticisms and dissatisfactions i experience that are even more enraging for the fact that i KNOW that i create them...if i could only let go they'd just... disappear. in any case, it's a pretty cool thing i'm getting to do, really; living in San Francisco, making it work as i go... even if it isn't what i thought i could/should/would be doing at this age. The air feels good. I have people that love me. I have a good coat and boots to stomp in. It's gonna be ok.
